The Narcissism Spectrum
Narcissism, like most character traits, exists on a spectrum, with the majority of people falling in the middle. Those on the extreme end of the spectrum would often be diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Recent studies have shown that .5% of the US population qualifies for a diagnosis of NPD a group of characteristics including a grandiose sense of self, a lack of empathy, and manipulative behavior. With over 16 million individuals with the disorder, the number of people negatively affected by their actions is likely much higher.
Pathological narcissists generally lack empathy and have the sense that oneself and one’s needs are more important than others’. Those with close relationships to a person with NPD will likely experience some form of abuse or mistreatment that has lasting effects on their psychological health. While it is not a formal clinical term, “narcissistic abuse” is generally understood to be the psychological mistreatment committed by someone with NPD and commonly includes verbal abuse, gaslighting, manipulation, withholding, and self-victimization.
Victims of narcissistic abuse are often partners or children of narcissists. Those raised by a narcissistic parent learn early on that their thoughts and feelings are unimportant and often form a disorganized attachment to their caregiver. Partners of people with NPD are also subjected to a range of harmful behavior that leaves them feeling confused, shameful, isolated, and anxious.This behavior can have devastating effects on a person’s self-esteem and well-being. As we know from attachment research, the relationship between a parent and a child creates a foundation to form how the child views and interacts with the world. Both partners and children of narcissists might experience low self-esteem, emotional instability, anxiety, depression and substance use.
As with any trauma, treatment for those affected by the behavior of a narcissist can be challenging and complex. A victim might doubt their experiences, blame themselves, or struggle to seek help and leave the relationship. These individuals often struggle with feelings of worthlessness and have damaged their sense of self. They might experience symptoms similar to those of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and need trauma-informed treatment to work through their experience. Many victims describe intrusive thoughts, hyper-vigilance, flashbacks, feelings of isolation, and somatic symptoms. Despite how difficult it may be, processing this trauma is important for the victim and those around them.
